karen2205 | Shopping

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Shopping

One of the things I'm not overly fond of about Bury is that it's sufficiently small that one becomes known in the local shops. I like being anonymous when I'm shopping and I like to be left alone to select what I'm after. On recent occassions when I've been shopping I've had shop staff say they remember me and have had people coming to offer 'help' when I'm browsing quite happily. I can accept that this happens every now and then (& presumably some people like it otherwise retailers wouldn't do it or it'd harm their sales), but when it happens twice in three minutes, it becomes annoying.

So questions for discussion:

How do you feel about the friendliness of local retailers who know you well? How about the 'little fish in a big sea' syndrome you get when shopping in big shopping centres/cities?

How do you feel about unsolicited offers of help by shop staff? [Incidentally, my increasingly vague memories of working at Woolworths tell me that I'd wait until people were looking lost/unsure before offering help.] How about inability to find anyone to help when you do want some help?

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Generally, I like being recognised in stores and at the market. I think I probably get better service and I know I get discounts. In places I am not known I don't want over attentive service while I'm just browsing.

I end up feeling obliged to buy *something* whenever I go in and I'm recognised, which reduces my tendency to browse there.

Oh, I'm all for service and people knowing who I am, every time. I have never yet bought anything in Ikea, because I can't cope with the lack of service, and I find large shopping centres very frightening.

I don't like Ikea for that reason. I've only ever been there once and I spent a couple of hours walking around, not understanding the layout of the store and not able to find what I was looking for.

Large shopping centres I find too busy to be pleasant (I am prejudiced here in that I tend to go to them at weekends when they will be busy). They are also more likely (IME) than the average high street type shopping area to contain shops that give children balloons on sticks regularly.

When I lived in the wilds of Northumberland, I really liked how friendly Allendale was. The little CoOp there sold everything from fish fingers to barbed wire, and if you had a lot of shopping, people in the queue would come forward and help you pack and even carry things out to the car.

In the US, you tend to get shop staff being more 'aggressively helpful' than we're used to in the UK. It's not so genuine though -- they are trained to do it. To be honest, I really miss the random niceness of people in Northumberland, though bits of the US come close, particularly in some of the southern states (Arizona and New Mexico come to mind). California isn't (quite) so friendly, but it's certainly quite liveable.

*nods* - I remember that from US people on the occasions I've been there. I'm sure if I lived there I'd get used to delivering a much firmer 'no, I'm happy browsing, I'll come and find you if I need anything' than feels comfortable over here.

I love real, personal friendliness. I've just got home from the Pembury Tavern, where the landlord came over to chat and let me taste a batch of ale that he thought was particularly good. When a business owner knows me, they can make recommendations, answer questions, and offer help based on what they know about me, which is actually useful.

Some businesses, particularly large chains, try to fake this sort of thing all the time (ordering staff to smile, training assistants to ask you if you need help every 30 seconds even if you're browsing quite happily, customer profiling from 'loyalty' cards, making generic 'if you liked this, you might also like...' recommendations, etc), but to me that somehow just draws even more attention to how impersonal and, well, crap the service is.

Ditto. Real contact is great - I love my local fish shop because they know me, ask how my fish are, evangelise about one species or another, recommend various products, and will try hard to solve any problem I bring to them. Local sarnie shops and my local corner shop nod hello and go 'Awrigh'?' which is as much contact as I want, mostly.

An assistant cornered me yesterday just as I stepped into the new Monsoon at Victoria, exclaiming "How are you? What are you looking for?" I managed not to retort "Peace and quiet" and just ignored her, followed by leaving. Whereas the mini-HMV is too crowded to follow anyone but has a Bloke With Clue on the till who will comment approvingly and knowledgeably on your purchases and suggest which cheap DVD on offer you might like. I think he's a lot of different blokes, but a bit of expertise is so much more useful and makes me feel appreciated so much mroe than a generic minion wishing me a nice day.

An assistant cornered me yesterday just as I stepped into the new Monsoon at Victoria, exclaiming "How are you? What are you looking for?" I managed not to retort "Peace and quiet"

Yeah, I try to restrain the retorts that spring to mind; I know the person who's asked the question isn't to blame for having asked it, since it's likely to be a management instruction. I also tend to read a lot into that kind of offer to help that's almost certainly not meant ie. this customer is so stupid she's never going to be able to find what she wants without help.

HMV and related places used to scare me, because they're so big (think version on Oxford Street) and always have loud background music playing and I could never find what I was looking for whilst also expecting to be laughed at for my musical preferences if I asked for help. After a bit of looking around I've now got a handle on how they're laid out and where to start looking for stuff.

Yep, but

timeplease is different. He's a friend. I know he's not going to rip me off or try to talk me into buying something I neither need or want and I trust that he knows his drinks and will recommend good quality stuff.

That sort of thing can't be replicated outside of the 'friend-of-friend becomes a good acquaintance/friend' type situation. Thinking about it, I have a similiarly good relationship with my ISP, because they're friends of friends. I know I can email them and get an answer within half an hour or so, even 'out of hours' and that's a service I value enough to pay for.

But yes, agree re large chains trying to fake this sort of thing. I don't mind the customer profiling, because it normally leads to money off vouchers I can choose to use or ignore, but people offering to help when I'm happily browsing interferes with my shopping in a not appreciated way.

I feel the same way! I much prefer being anonymous, and I get a bit scared if I feel they know me. People coming to ask if I need help can be enough to make me leave sometimes.

But yeah, whenever I need someone to talk to, there's never anyone around.

I think the two instances that worried me a bit were in the first instance because the gentleman in the shop recognised me, having seen me more than once, and I didn't recognise him. The second instance was even scarier in its own way - I visited a shop for a second time and the gentleman there remembered seeing me from almost a year ago. I don't have that kind of memory for names and faces and I find it scary that other people do.

I'm an introvert. I want people to LEAVE ME ALONE whenever possible, and that includes when I am shopping. If I want help, I'll ask for it.

In my job, I'm supposed to say hi to and offer to help all random customers I encounter. I don't, unless they look befuddled. It is just too weird for me. And greeting/being greeted by the store staff kind of presupposes a level of friendliness that isn't there. I don't mind saying "Hi, how can I help you?" if the person needs my help, but a blanket "Hi, how are you?" to every random stranger is too much for me.

*nods* - I'm mostly like that. If I'm shopping my mind is already in about five different places at once and I don't need someone popping up all bright and cheerful asling me if I want help. I have exceptions for people I actually know well though. People who throw blanket 'Hi, how are you?'s at me are likely to get a more honest answer than they'd anticipate, because, well, they ought not to be asking the question if they don't want to hear the answer.

Having shopkeepers know you is just about as good as shopping gets. The butchers I frequent (one on Burleigh Street, Andrews, for game, and the Art of Meat for most other stuff when we're not buying in bulk) know my preferences and give me great products at a lower price than I'd normally pay (sometimes stuffing the odd extra thing in the bag). The blokes at Andrews are keen allotment men, the bloke at the Art of Meat is waiting for me to dig him up some horseradish. Down at Cambridge market I've got a couple of stalls I go to all of the time, theres Goodens which stocks a more diverse range of plants than most garden centres, and the other stall (name escapes me) where I get the veg I can't grow and young veg plants. Our local supermarket (a branch of Budgens) has a core of staff who have been there for years, they know the regulars, they're helpful and friendly... Dunno what else I could ask for.

These people all stop, take time and talk about things, exchange information and advice (a freebie not to be sniffed at!). I think that this whole anonymity in shopping thing is a harmful trend, largely fostered by the completely faceless supermarket chains that offer neither quality or value, but by stripping out more and more personal interraction offer speed and convenience. I utterly despise that kind of shopping; its hardly surprising that supermarkets seem to be full of screaming children, its a completely soulless experience.

Having shopkeepers know you is just about as good as shopping gets.

Yes, I'd agree with that, where the shopkeepers actually know you, rather than just recognising a face or being the sorts of places that engage in offering everyone help for the sake of it.

At the same time, I like my privacy and I don't necessarily want an individual knowing what my shopping preferences are. I've less of a problem with big companies using store cards to build up a picture of my shopping; my problem is with the person in front of me knowing that I tend to buy foo or bar and that I've oddly not bought baz today but have gone for something different.

Butchers are scary in my head because I know so little about what they sell. I prefer buying meat from supermarkets because I know what I'm getting isn't going to poison me and I'm not going to be ripped off by being talked into buying something that isn't as the butcher describes. I don't have the knowledge levels to prevent myself being ripped off by a fast-talking butcher, in the same way I don't have the knowledge levels to stop a car dealer doing the same.

I like people who are genuinely happy to stop and take time and exchange real information & advice. I don't like feeling obliged to buy something simply because someone has done this unasked. And I don't like having people throw a sales pitch at me. I prefer to be left alone to do my shopping. Large shops/chains cannot replicate the genuinely personal service that smaller places can provide and shouldn't IMO try. I don't necessarily want my shopping to have a 'soul', I'd rather it had a proper one or none at all, rather than a misguided attempt to provide one.

I like the ability to be anonymous while shopping. I don't want to have my purchases looked at oddly or to be asked to justify why I want to buy something.

A chunk of my extended family live in Bury, so I'd be particularly worried if I went shopping there (say, I needed a lot of sugar ;)).

I don't like it when people start recognizing me, in shops. It means I need to start thinking about my relationship with them, and spinning up a whole bit of my brain about remembering what people said last time, working out what mood they're in, what their character is, perhaps thinking of a comment or a joke, etc. When I'm shopping often I want to be able just to get away with being a zombie because I'm stressed or annoyed, something, and it's quite a strain to act how I should with people who know me.

I don't like it when people start recognizing me, in shops.

I find it very disconcerting, particularly when I don't recognise the other person. I'm not good with faces and names and tend to get confused when people change their clothes.

When I'm shopping often I want to be able just to get away with being a zombie because I'm stressed or annoyed,

Yep, me too and being called upon to be more than polite is too much for me when I'm feeling like that.

I like being known to local retailers - having one of them ask after

aegidian or the kids has helped me through really difficult times. I don't mind unsolicited offers of help from people who know me as well as that, but I detest it from strangers.

Yep, it's the over bubbly and happy offer from strangers that I find annoying. It's different with people who actually know me well.

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