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Michalemas 2001
Memories of the first term of my final year in Oxford. See http://www.wonderfuldreams.me.uk/oxfordmt01p1 for the final version.
I went back to Oxford a week into September, and was very happy to be back. Oxford felt much more like 'home' than my home in North Hampshire did. I spent September living in 2 Holywell Street. Anna and Susie came back shortly after I did and moved into Manor Place.
I enjoyed those weeks - I spent much of the days in the OUSU offices doing Freshers' Fair things and then had the evenings free to watch telly/otherwise relax - well kind of. I certainly remember spending a lot of time recruiting stewards for the fair by email in the evenings.
The amount of politicking that went on was amazing - it was common knowledge that Will was going to run for OUSU President, and that Nick (one of the Assistant Business Managers - responsible for getting advertising) was going to help him with this. It was really quite amusing. I did think about running myself - but decided against it because (a) I wasn't sure I'd get permission, (b) even if I did my degree was rather important and I wouldn't have wanted to endanger it by not working that term, (c) OUSU sabs are paid very badly and are expected to work very hard - far in excess of their contractual hours, (d) I'd left it far too late - those that were running had planned their campaigns over the summer vac - I guess I could have done the planning a campaign thing, but what's rather important for OUSU elections is that one has several committed 'activists' to put posters in other colleges etc/hack people (eurgh - I don't particularly like that concept, it makes me cringe (I'll maybe have a go at explaining why later on)
One of the consequences to being in the offices so much over the summer vac is that you get drawn into doing things that aren't strictly Fair organising, but are necessary to the smooth running of the office. The day when I was left in the offices by myself - except for one of the Sabs doing casework to deal with a delivery for the shop, the ringing telephones and the personal callers kind of stands out as explanation of why it's such a pressurised place to work.
Worthy of mention is obviously 11th September - Will, Eleanor, Colin (?) and I were on our way back to OUSU after meeting with the gentleman in charge of the buildings in Schools (no that's not an oxymoron) when someone stopped us in the street and said 'a plane's crashed into the WTC' - this is at about 2pm.
We get back to the office and turn on the radio and listen - we hear that one tower's collapsed and then the other. The internet wasn't working (you know what I mean), there wasn't a telly in the offices and I didn't have an accurate mental image of the WTC, so it wasn't until I saw the pictures later that evening that I really understood the enormity of what had happened.
I'll never forget meeting Tom - he was in the offices on either the morning of the 12 or 13th when I arrived and was unbelievably arrogant towards me, not to mention being a PITA, and trying to get out to the US (remember this is when all planes were grounded) to report on it. I'm sure he's a perfectly lovely person, but he made a very bad impression on me that morning.
As the month went on the days spent in the office chasing things up got longer and longer - tis always the way with something like FF. On Friday of -1st Week the tickets finally arrived at about 5.30pm and I began to sort them into envelopes for the different Colleges (there has to be a better system for entry than issuing tickets - I'd have thought just looking at people's Bod cards would be sufficient, and would have the added benefit of stopping second years getting in....but as is always the way, until you've done it once, you don't know these things). I'd been thinking that there was no way I'd ever manage to finish doing them that night - there must have been around 8 000 of them, and I had to count them by hand, since they'd not been sent to us in marked bundles.
I was in need of a break and checked the voicemail on my room phone - and discovered a message from Anna asking me to phone her. She sounded a bit upset, but I thought I knew why, so when I phoned Manor Place and spoke to Susie, I was stunned by what they told me. Joe's cancer was terminal, he had less than a month to live and the Warden had invited us round later that evening. This was all the more shocking because the last I'd heard from him was an email saying 'see you in 0th week'.
I was so shocked by what I was told that after that conversation I actually went back and carried on counting out tickets for fifteen minutes or so, before I did anything else. Then I told Colin, poor, poor Colin.
That weekend was very odd - thoughts about Joe consumed me from morning to night and didn't do my sleep much good either, but I was numb, everyone else was crying, but I couldn't.
The Monday morning was hard - I went to OUSU and people were expecting me to make decisions! I'll never forget how kind Antonia was that morning - she asked me something and I said 'I'm not thinking straight you're going to have to speak to Will.' and then she just listened to me for ten/fifteen minutes. I was grateful to everyone else - particularly Will for forcing me into doing things that morning. Being made to carry on with life immediately isn't best for everyone, but it worked for me.
The Tuesday was similar - I guess I was getting quite concerned that I was still so utterly numb, but I knew that it wouldn't last forever. We worked very hard that day, giving out stall holder passes and doing other bits and pieces. That day is noteworthy because of two emails I received, one from Mike. He'd been asked to steward the fair and sent a jokey response back. I let rip and that was the beginning of a great friendship. That evening Eleanor, Colin and I went for a drink at a local cocktail bar. I should have known better - I only had one, but that was enough. When I got back to my room I saw an email that caused me to burst into almost hysterical crying for hours.
On the Wednesday we went to Kent to visit Joe. That was a pleasant day and extremely good for me - he was content and didn't appear to be in too much pain. If you have to go, that's not a bad way to go - that was my lesson for the day.
Thursday and Friday I was running Freshers' Fair - err 'no, you may not give people stickers', 'no, you can't go in while you're eating', 'it's not my fault your phones don't work in Schools and you're going to have to wait till I have a steward free for someone to take you in'.
My (our) ability to persuade people to steward for us was invaluable - we had plenty of people helping throughout both days. By the Friday evening when we all ended up at the Turf we were exhausted. I'd been half expecting an all night celebration type thing, but we disintegrated fairly quickly. I think the Thursday & Friday were the first nights I slept properly since learning about Joe.
Then term began properly. I was doing Labour law and EC Social, Consumer and Environmental law that term - these were the first subjects I did that I had chosen, and for the first time in a while I actually enjoyed my work.
Joe died on 18th October. I'd been in the bar that evening, and got back to my room to a message from Anna asking me to phone her, and I knew, just knew what she was going to tell me. My reactions were kind of delayed - there was an immediate stomach-pit-sinking feeling, but that I attribute to not having eaten that day. But I wasn't in a crying phase either.
The following Friday we went to Kent for his memorial service. It was moving and strangely carthiatic. The day before this service I saw (insert link) and while I was rather irritated by it (owing to being quoted out of context/not being contacted before it was published), I was fairly unpeturbed by it, becuase Joe's death was a very levelling experience.
On Sunday 5th Week, my two college children - Jess and Tom stood for my job as Charities Rep - I still remember blushing with embarassment when Jim asked a question along the lines of 'Are you going to follow Karen's lead and actually do something with a committee post?'. That was also the night I practically singlehandedly abolished the post of Women's Officer. Even I couldn't believe it when the motion passed nem con.
The term moved on (Joe's Merton service + boat naming(or was that Hilary?).
The ball.
Then I had to move to Holywell Street for 9th Week - moved on the Saturday of 8th Week, did my first collection on the Monday. Collections delayed because of Joe - there were a few of us not in a fit state to do them at the start of term.
(mentoring)
more later- I've not even got out of 0th week.
I went back to Oxford a week into September, and was very happy to be back. Oxford felt much more like 'home' than my home in North Hampshire did. I spent September living in 2 Holywell Street. Anna and Susie came back shortly after I did and moved into Manor Place.
I enjoyed those weeks - I spent much of the days in the OUSU offices doing Freshers' Fair things and then had the evenings free to watch telly/otherwise relax - well kind of. I certainly remember spending a lot of time recruiting stewards for the fair by email in the evenings.
The amount of politicking that went on was amazing - it was common knowledge that Will was going to run for OUSU President, and that Nick (one of the Assistant Business Managers - responsible for getting advertising) was going to help him with this. It was really quite amusing. I did think about running myself - but decided against it because (a) I wasn't sure I'd get permission, (b) even if I did my degree was rather important and I wouldn't have wanted to endanger it by not working that term, (c) OUSU sabs are paid very badly and are expected to work very hard - far in excess of their contractual hours, (d) I'd left it far too late - those that were running had planned their campaigns over the summer vac - I guess I could have done the planning a campaign thing, but what's rather important for OUSU elections is that one has several committed 'activists' to put posters in other colleges etc/hack people (eurgh - I don't particularly like that concept, it makes me cringe (I'll maybe have a go at explaining why later on)
One of the consequences to being in the offices so much over the summer vac is that you get drawn into doing things that aren't strictly Fair organising, but are necessary to the smooth running of the office. The day when I was left in the offices by myself - except for one of the Sabs doing casework to deal with a delivery for the shop, the ringing telephones and the personal callers kind of stands out as explanation of why it's such a pressurised place to work.
Worthy of mention is obviously 11th September - Will, Eleanor, Colin (?) and I were on our way back to OUSU after meeting with the gentleman in charge of the buildings in Schools (no that's not an oxymoron) when someone stopped us in the street and said 'a plane's crashed into the WTC' - this is at about 2pm.
We get back to the office and turn on the radio and listen - we hear that one tower's collapsed and then the other. The internet wasn't working (you know what I mean), there wasn't a telly in the offices and I didn't have an accurate mental image of the WTC, so it wasn't until I saw the pictures later that evening that I really understood the enormity of what had happened.
I'll never forget meeting Tom - he was in the offices on either the morning of the 12 or 13th when I arrived and was unbelievably arrogant towards me, not to mention being a PITA, and trying to get out to the US (remember this is when all planes were grounded) to report on it. I'm sure he's a perfectly lovely person, but he made a very bad impression on me that morning.
As the month went on the days spent in the office chasing things up got longer and longer - tis always the way with something like FF. On Friday of -1st Week the tickets finally arrived at about 5.30pm and I began to sort them into envelopes for the different Colleges (there has to be a better system for entry than issuing tickets - I'd have thought just looking at people's Bod cards would be sufficient, and would have the added benefit of stopping second years getting in....but as is always the way, until you've done it once, you don't know these things). I'd been thinking that there was no way I'd ever manage to finish doing them that night - there must have been around 8 000 of them, and I had to count them by hand, since they'd not been sent to us in marked bundles.
I was in need of a break and checked the voicemail on my room phone - and discovered a message from Anna asking me to phone her. She sounded a bit upset, but I thought I knew why, so when I phoned Manor Place and spoke to Susie, I was stunned by what they told me. Joe's cancer was terminal, he had less than a month to live and the Warden had invited us round later that evening. This was all the more shocking because the last I'd heard from him was an email saying 'see you in 0th week'.
I was so shocked by what I was told that after that conversation I actually went back and carried on counting out tickets for fifteen minutes or so, before I did anything else. Then I told Colin, poor, poor Colin.
That weekend was very odd - thoughts about Joe consumed me from morning to night and didn't do my sleep much good either, but I was numb, everyone else was crying, but I couldn't.
The Monday morning was hard - I went to OUSU and people were expecting me to make decisions! I'll never forget how kind Antonia was that morning - she asked me something and I said 'I'm not thinking straight you're going to have to speak to Will.' and then she just listened to me for ten/fifteen minutes. I was grateful to everyone else - particularly Will for forcing me into doing things that morning. Being made to carry on with life immediately isn't best for everyone, but it worked for me.
The Tuesday was similar - I guess I was getting quite concerned that I was still so utterly numb, but I knew that it wouldn't last forever. We worked very hard that day, giving out stall holder passes and doing other bits and pieces. That day is noteworthy because of two emails I received, one from Mike. He'd been asked to steward the fair and sent a jokey response back. I let rip and that was the beginning of a great friendship. That evening Eleanor, Colin and I went for a drink at a local cocktail bar. I should have known better - I only had one, but that was enough. When I got back to my room I saw an email that caused me to burst into almost hysterical crying for hours.
On the Wednesday we went to Kent to visit Joe. That was a pleasant day and extremely good for me - he was content and didn't appear to be in too much pain. If you have to go, that's not a bad way to go - that was my lesson for the day.
Thursday and Friday I was running Freshers' Fair - err 'no, you may not give people stickers', 'no, you can't go in while you're eating', 'it's not my fault your phones don't work in Schools and you're going to have to wait till I have a steward free for someone to take you in'.
My (our) ability to persuade people to steward for us was invaluable - we had plenty of people helping throughout both days. By the Friday evening when we all ended up at the Turf we were exhausted. I'd been half expecting an all night celebration type thing, but we disintegrated fairly quickly. I think the Thursday & Friday were the first nights I slept properly since learning about Joe.
Then term began properly. I was doing Labour law and EC Social, Consumer and Environmental law that term - these were the first subjects I did that I had chosen, and for the first time in a while I actually enjoyed my work.
Joe died on 18th October. I'd been in the bar that evening, and got back to my room to a message from Anna asking me to phone her, and I knew, just knew what she was going to tell me. My reactions were kind of delayed - there was an immediate stomach-pit-sinking feeling, but that I attribute to not having eaten that day. But I wasn't in a crying phase either.
The following Friday we went to Kent for his memorial service. It was moving and strangely carthiatic. The day before this service I saw (insert link) and while I was rather irritated by it (owing to being quoted out of context/not being contacted before it was published), I was fairly unpeturbed by it, becuase Joe's death was a very levelling experience.
On Sunday 5th Week, my two college children - Jess and Tom stood for my job as Charities Rep - I still remember blushing with embarassment when Jim asked a question along the lines of 'Are you going to follow Karen's lead and actually do something with a committee post?'. That was also the night I practically singlehandedly abolished the post of Women's Officer. Even I couldn't believe it when the motion passed nem con.
The term moved on (Joe's Merton service + boat naming(or was that Hilary?).
The ball.
Then I had to move to Holywell Street for 9th Week - moved on the Saturday of 8th Week, did my first collection on the Monday. Collections delayed because of Joe - there were a few of us not in a fit state to do them at the start of term.
(mentoring)
more later- I've not even got out of 0th week.