I'm tired. Right now I'm awake enough to function, but I'm hardly completely with it. I'm not even sure I'm capable of writing in complete sentences at the minute - when my Mum is very tired she loses the ability to speak in complete sentences - I'm not that bad, but since I tend to want/need to write when I'm tired, I think I'd better practice.
It gets worse in the evenings - I was so tired going home last night at just after 9pm that I thought I was going to trip and fall down the stairs to the platform at the tube station. It was adrenaline that kept me going through that class - that kept me thinking 'I might be tired, but I'm still here, I'm coping, I can do this.' - that's the kind of adrenaline that I remember getting during the afternoons after all nighters - a kind of weird light headedness, that's not exactly tiredness and feels quite good, except that I know when I'm that tired I'm in danger of overreacting to stupid things - like people with an inability to treat revoling doors gently, people who walk down six steps and then stop to light a cigarette etc.
I'm alright, and I'm actually quite happy with life at the moment, but I feel very much the way I did during Oxford terms - permanently tired, only getting enough sleep at weekends - walking round in a daze etc. I can live like this perfectly happily, providing nothing goes wrong; being this tired puts me on an emotional knife edge where if things happen to go a little bit wrong, I'll get extremely upset me, and that's not a good thing.
There are 168 hours in the week,
40 I spend at work
20 I spend doing the LPC
56 I theroetically spend sleeping - I tend towards seven hours sleep a night, not eight though, so long as I can catch up at the weekends
2 or 4 hours having driving lessons
2 hours Guiding
7.5 hours getting up/having breakfast/getting to work
7 hours cooking/eating (that's averaged - I do most of my cooking at the weekend)
5 hours housework/admin/food shopping
6 hours getting home/travelling at the weekend
That leaves me 20.5 hours 'free time' - of which at least 7.5 hours is late weekday evenings, and which I tend to spend online/watching telly - because I'm too tired to do anything else.
Which then leaves me 13 hours a week to call my own. Into that time I have to fit visiting people, reading, sewing, telephone calls, telly, other Guiding things, proper emailing/internetty things that can only be done from home, bathing, DIY, job hunting, giving blood, doing the wages, proper shopping etc etc.
No wonder I'm tired. Not that knowing why I'm tired is any help in making me less tired though. There isn't really much I can avoid doing during the week, or any way I can see to be more efficient - other than perhaps actually going to bed at 11.30 and not staying up till midnight.
As for what I've been doing - Monday was my first 9pm finish for the LPC, which I survived, and feel fairly confident that I understand what was going on. Tuesday was a driving lesson, which went fairly well - I've never been good at judging distance and speed - I guess I just need more practice. Last night was another 9pm finish, involving inheritance tax followed by probate. Inheritance tax is one of these technical things that I'm not good at dealing with when I'm tired, but I don't have much choice, so hopefully practice will make me more accurate as time goes on. Tonight I'm going home to my Guides in Tadley for a presentation evening, then I'm going home to my Mummy and Helen, followed by getting a bus at 7.15 on Friday morning to come to work. Friday evening will involve collapsing in a little heap, fit for doing nothing more than a load of washing, the dishes and playing online.
No idea what I'll do over the weekend - I've got nothing planned other than LPC stuff/admin and housework. Interesting suggestions would be appreciated.
It gets worse in the evenings - I was so tired going home last night at just after 9pm that I thought I was going to trip and fall down the stairs to the platform at the tube station. It was adrenaline that kept me going through that class - that kept me thinking 'I might be tired, but I'm still here, I'm coping, I can do this.' - that's the kind of adrenaline that I remember getting during the afternoons after all nighters - a kind of weird light headedness, that's not exactly tiredness and feels quite good, except that I know when I'm that tired I'm in danger of overreacting to stupid things - like people with an inability to treat revoling doors gently, people who walk down six steps and then stop to light a cigarette etc.
I'm alright, and I'm actually quite happy with life at the moment, but I feel very much the way I did during Oxford terms - permanently tired, only getting enough sleep at weekends - walking round in a daze etc. I can live like this perfectly happily, providing nothing goes wrong; being this tired puts me on an emotional knife edge where if things happen to go a little bit wrong, I'll get extremely upset me, and that's not a good thing.
There are 168 hours in the week,
40 I spend at work
20 I spend doing the LPC
56 I theroetically spend sleeping - I tend towards seven hours sleep a night, not eight though, so long as I can catch up at the weekends
2 or 4 hours having driving lessons
2 hours Guiding
7.5 hours getting up/having breakfast/getting to work
7 hours cooking/eating (that's averaged - I do most of my cooking at the weekend)
5 hours housework/admin/food shopping
6 hours getting home/travelling at the weekend
That leaves me 20.5 hours 'free time' - of which at least 7.5 hours is late weekday evenings, and which I tend to spend online/watching telly - because I'm too tired to do anything else.
Which then leaves me 13 hours a week to call my own. Into that time I have to fit visiting people, reading, sewing, telephone calls, telly, other Guiding things, proper emailing/internetty things that can only be done from home, bathing, DIY, job hunting, giving blood, doing the wages, proper shopping etc etc.
No wonder I'm tired. Not that knowing why I'm tired is any help in making me less tired though. There isn't really much I can avoid doing during the week, or any way I can see to be more efficient - other than perhaps actually going to bed at 11.30 and not staying up till midnight.
As for what I've been doing - Monday was my first 9pm finish for the LPC, which I survived, and feel fairly confident that I understand what was going on. Tuesday was a driving lesson, which went fairly well - I've never been good at judging distance and speed - I guess I just need more practice. Last night was another 9pm finish, involving inheritance tax followed by probate. Inheritance tax is one of these technical things that I'm not good at dealing with when I'm tired, but I don't have much choice, so hopefully practice will make me more accurate as time goes on. Tonight I'm going home to my Guides in Tadley for a presentation evening, then I'm going home to my Mummy and Helen, followed by getting a bus at 7.15 on Friday morning to come to work. Friday evening will involve collapsing in a little heap, fit for doing nothing more than a load of washing, the dishes and playing online.
No idea what I'll do over the weekend - I've got nothing planned other than LPC stuff/admin and housework. Interesting suggestions would be appreciated.
