Totalise + *hugs* + email
Dec. 9th, 2004 11:09 amYou're all lucky my computer crashed mid-rant last night:-P
First on the list is Totalise. They supply one of my webmail accounts; the one I give to reputable companies and organisations. They changed their terms and conditions a little while ago - I was pretty certain on reading them that all the change meant was that unless I used their dial up service I'd only have POP3/IMAP access and not webmail access - this didn't bother me in the slightest.
Yesterday morning I started getting emails which looked like spam - they were from Totalise customer services, (custserv@totalise.co.uk) addressed to custserv@totalise.co.uk and commenced 'Dear Customer'. When I first received this email the POP connection appeared to be working - so I decided that it was spam and deleted it. When I received several more copies of the same email I became even more convinced that it was spam. I then went for a search for the headers and the lack of content in the headers made me think that it was definitely spam (will paste it from home).
Yesterday evening, I realised the POP connection wasn't working - I was expecting LJ comment email and some other stuff, so I began to wonder if these emails were genuine, and discovered to my horror that they were. It was set up on some sort of loop type thing, so every time I checked that email account I got another copy of the 'Your account has been suspended' message. So, it seems that to carry on using totalise I have to dial in and pay a local call fee once every 35 days. I object to this on principle. I had no choice but to give in and do it this morning to get to my missing email, but I'm currently thinking about ways to stop using this account. I've already changed the email address LJ uses to a real one. I've just signed up to so many things using that address that it's going to take a bit of work to stop using it.
(I do not need or want a gmail invite - though thank you for the offer, if you were intending to offer me one:), nor do I particularly want recommendations of web based email services (though I'm aware of fastmail) - I'm thinking now might be the time to move to using the real email connected with my domain.)
Next on the list is the use of *hugs* as a one word panacea to everything from 'I'm seriously ill and scared' to 'I've broken a nail'. I use the term *hugs*, when my response if in the same room as the individual would be to give him/her a hug. But, I would never ever give someone a hug without talking to them at the same time (OK, there might be times with someone you're very close to when wordless hugs mean a lot, but that's the exception rather than the rule). *hugs* are not a substitute for comforting words/empathy/advice. They're a physical/emotional 'pick-me-up' and as such very useful - many people derive comfort from physical contact with their friends and family, but not the be all and end all.
There are also times when they aren't what someone's looking for - different people like different levels of emotional support and you have to know the person you're talking to to know whether this is an appropriate time for that kind of comment eg. I'm not expecting *hugs* 'cos of my problems with Totalise - I'm expecting either practical solutions or someone to say 'Karen, it's your own fault. If you'd read the changed terms and conditions properly you'd have realised what they were doing and you could have avoided this entirely.'.
Connected with this, I see a general reluctance on LiveJournal to call people on their decisions and I don't like it very much. You lot aren't too bad, but around LiveJournal I wonder and I see people saying ridiculous things and then not have someone say 'You're being an idiot - go and read foo before you start talking about bar.'. It's sad. I value my friends because I respect their judgment and their integrity not because they agree with everything blindly - if I do something stupid they'll tell me about it. I want other people to have friendships that strong.
And finally, I'll stop ranting and explain the poll I wrote last Friday. My sister happened to sit and watch me type email to someone involved in Guiding who is substantially older than me and told me off for being mean 'cos I wasn't sending her any kisses. I said that there are some people you just don't send kisses to and I wanted to check whether I was being hopelessly old fashioned or whether it really is the done thing to send kisses to people you know via non-work organisations. I think of kisses as more intimate than 'love' or 'hugs' etc, so I don't send them via email. Judging from the poll, it seems that![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
beingjdc is the only one who sends kisses to people less close than 'friends', so I think I can put my sister's arguments down to a generation gap.
First on the list is Totalise. They supply one of my webmail accounts; the one I give to reputable companies and organisations. They changed their terms and conditions a little while ago - I was pretty certain on reading them that all the change meant was that unless I used their dial up service I'd only have POP3/IMAP access and not webmail access - this didn't bother me in the slightest.
Yesterday morning I started getting emails which looked like spam - they were from Totalise customer services, (custserv@totalise.co.uk) addressed to custserv@totalise.co.uk and commenced 'Dear Customer'. When I first received this email the POP connection appeared to be working - so I decided that it was spam and deleted it. When I received several more copies of the same email I became even more convinced that it was spam. I then went for a search for the headers and the lack of content in the headers made me think that it was definitely spam (will paste it from home).
Yesterday evening, I realised the POP connection wasn't working - I was expecting LJ comment email and some other stuff, so I began to wonder if these emails were genuine, and discovered to my horror that they were. It was set up on some sort of loop type thing, so every time I checked that email account I got another copy of the 'Your account has been suspended' message. So, it seems that to carry on using totalise I have to dial in and pay a local call fee once every 35 days. I object to this on principle. I had no choice but to give in and do it this morning to get to my missing email, but I'm currently thinking about ways to stop using this account. I've already changed the email address LJ uses to a real one. I've just signed up to so many things using that address that it's going to take a bit of work to stop using it.
(I do not need or want a gmail invite - though thank you for the offer, if you were intending to offer me one:), nor do I particularly want recommendations of web based email services (though I'm aware of fastmail) - I'm thinking now might be the time to move to using the real email connected with my domain.)
Next on the list is the use of *hugs* as a one word panacea to everything from 'I'm seriously ill and scared' to 'I've broken a nail'. I use the term *hugs*, when my response if in the same room as the individual would be to give him/her a hug. But, I would never ever give someone a hug without talking to them at the same time (OK, there might be times with someone you're very close to when wordless hugs mean a lot, but that's the exception rather than the rule). *hugs* are not a substitute for comforting words/empathy/advice. They're a physical/emotional 'pick-me-up' and as such very useful - many people derive comfort from physical contact with their friends and family, but not the be all and end all.
There are also times when they aren't what someone's looking for - different people like different levels of emotional support and you have to know the person you're talking to to know whether this is an appropriate time for that kind of comment eg. I'm not expecting *hugs* 'cos of my problems with Totalise - I'm expecting either practical solutions or someone to say 'Karen, it's your own fault. If you'd read the changed terms and conditions properly you'd have realised what they were doing and you could have avoided this entirely.'.
Connected with this, I see a general reluctance on LiveJournal to call people on their decisions and I don't like it very much. You lot aren't too bad, but around LiveJournal I wonder and I see people saying ridiculous things and then not have someone say 'You're being an idiot - go and read foo before you start talking about bar.'. It's sad. I value my friends because I respect their judgment and their integrity not because they agree with everything blindly - if I do something stupid they'll tell me about it. I want other people to have friendships that strong.
And finally, I'll stop ranting and explain the poll I wrote last Friday. My sister happened to sit and watch me type email to someone involved in Guiding who is substantially older than me and told me off for being mean 'cos I wasn't sending her any kisses. I said that there are some people you just don't send kisses to and I wanted to check whether I was being hopelessly old fashioned or whether it really is the done thing to send kisses to people you know via non-work organisations. I think of kisses as more intimate than 'love' or 'hugs' etc, so I don't send them via email. Judging from the poll, it seems that
beingjdc is the only one who sends kisses to people less close than 'friends', so I think I can put my sister's arguments down to a generation gap.
